Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Once again we have entered into that special time of year known as Daylight Saving Time (DST).  I am aware that most people call it Daylight Savings Time but, by all authority, that is incorrect. So stop it.  By now, most of you should be able to fall asleep at about the same clock time as you used to and have adjusted to waking up in the dark.  If not, you have my sympathies.  I was able to completely circumvent the adjustment by coming down with the nastiest flu I’ve encountered in years. Nothing takes you out of clock-time like drifting in a viral fog for days and days.  By the time I cared what time it was, I had made the adjustment from BFT (Before Flu Time) to SFT (Survived Flu Time) – shortened from ITIGTLT (I Think I’m Going To Live Time) – and guess what?  All the DST rigmarole seemed completely irrelevant.  However, while I lay in a Nyquil haze, I had a revelation about the relativity of time though, shockingly, not in an Einstein kind of way.    

A Bemused Albert Einstein
dadsteachthebible.blogspot.com

Back in BFT, I thought it would be interesting to write about DST but, as I quickly discovered, so did apparently every writer and publisher in America. I now know more than I ever needed to or wanted to about DST.  My husband, “Encyclopedia Phil,” beat me by only one factoid at our dinner table trivia match -- major win for me.  I knew there were more deaths due to auto accidents and heart attacks on the Monday after the clock change, but didn’t know about the strokes. (Damn!)

In all those now wasted hours of research, I also learned that the idea originated with Benjamin Franklin in an article written during a visit to Paris in 1784, and was meant to be a joke. Also, modern DST was created to save energy but doesn’t.  And the “Uniform Time Act” of 1966, the current adoption of DST, is anything but uniform – Arizona, Hawaii, and all of the U.S. territories are exempted.  The Hopi Reservation  (and, technically, sovereign nation) located in Arizona doesn’t observe it either, but the Navajo Reservation (also sovereign), encompassing Arizona, Utah, New Mexico, and the Hopi Reservation, does.  Alaska, Nevada, and Florida do, but don’t want to.  Michigan didn’t but does now.  Colorado wants to do it year round.  And then there’s Indiana... a veritable can of time zone worms.  Twelve Indiana counties observe CST/CDT, while the remaining 80 observe EST/EDT, which is a vast improvement from 77 counties observing EST, 5 observing EST/EDT (unofficially),  and 10 observing CST/CDT.  But really, unless you live in Indiana, who cares?

The Time Zones of Indiana
animalswithinanimals.com

While everyone is yammering on about DST and time zones, nobody seems to grasp the fact that we have the ability to alter time.  We determine what time it is, not those extraneous celestial orbs or that pesky seasonal rotation of the earth. We are the deciders. So what are we doing with this awesome, Superman globe-circling power?  Messing up our natural circadian rhythm once a year so we don’t have to drive home from work in the dark.  C’mon, is this really the best we can do?

I’m not talking about disrupting the space-time continuum.  (Besides, Einstein’s Theory of Relativity can easily be disproved by experiencing the slowing of time through immobility when lying in bed waiting until you can take another dose of Nyquil.)  I’m just asking for a little creative time management.

For example, rather than disturb everyone’s sleep patterns, why not just “spring forward” everyday at 4pm, then “fall back” back at 7pm to avoid the dreaded dark drive home?  Or, like the Greeks and Romans, we could just create a twelve-hour day and vary the length of the hours during the months when the days are longer.  For instance, noon hour would be closer to ninety minutes, and cocktail hour would be closer to, say, two or three hours.  Cheers!

My favorite idea, though, is what I call the Slide Time week.  Why be confined to the concept of seven 24-hour days?  We could move the clock forward two or three hours, particularly on days that we would like shortened (Mondays, e.g.) and push those hours into days we want to linger (Friday eve – Sunday, e.g.). Once a week we would synchronize our watches, then be off on our sliding schedules again.  Just think of what a boon this could be for procrastinators who could give themselves several last-minute hours to meet their deadline. Want to sleep-in Wednesday morning?  No problem!  Just slide the clock back a couple hours then add them later when you find a couple hours you’d just as soon skip over.

Slide Time - It's that easy
www.onlyaboutall.com

So, perhaps you’re wondering just how Slide Time would work.

Let’s say the administrative assistant, Susan, calls on Monday about an important meeting to discuss the decline in sales of widgets at Friday 4 pm, WURST (Widgets Universally Redundant Slide Time).  A quick look at your stylish Slide Time Swatch watch reveals that 4pm WURST is 8pm MOIST (My Own Important Slide Time) at which time you will be sitting down to dinner at a great new restaurant in San Francisco, having taken a flight at 12 noon MOIST and 1pm TSAT (TSA Time), checked into your choice hotel and spa, had a long luxurious soak, and put on the amazing dress you bought especially for that occasion. What to do?  Cancel the fabulous weekend you booked?  No way!  

“Susan,” you say. “I'm pretty sure I emailed you last week to say I’ll be sliding ahead on Friday.”

“Really?” says Susan, “I never got it.  Oh, wait. It just came in. Sorry, I just took a really long backslide  and haven’t slid all the way forward yet.”

“No problem, I can backslide as much as you need before Friday.  Let’s see, right now its 9am WURST and 8am MOIST. Let me slide forward... okay, ready sync.  What have you got?”

“Well, it looks like Mr. A is backsliding Tuesday, which should give him a few hours... nope, golfing.  I can slide him forward Wednesday, backslide Ms. C on Thursday...”

“Perfect! I can backslide all day on Thursday.”

“Great! Thursday at 9am, then Mr. A can backslide after that.”

“Is that WURST?”

“Of course it is!”

And that’s all there is to it.  It’s so simple! And the simplest solution is always the best, don’t you think?

Okay, I’m going to go lie down now.  Maybe have a little soup first.

Odes of March - Part 3

Caesar's Julian calendar was eventually replaced by the Gregorian calendar, as the good fathers found ways to accommodate the 365.25 days it takes for the Earth to orbit around the sun.  There are several other calendars, of course, and I'm certain the history of the modern calendar would be absolutely spell-binding, if one wished to pursue it.  But for me, on this hot and sunny So Cal morning, (for which March has not come in like a lamb or lion as much as a fire-breathing dragon), it was nature, not the calendar, that brought on this effusive exposition.

I don't know why I often forget to do the things I love. Severing myself from my desk and double screens where I toiled over a book, video editing, employment listings, social media, and all things cyber, I went outside to give my overheated garden some water.  In doing so, I bent to pull some weeds that have greatly multiplied in the alternately rainy and 82 degree weather, and suddenly remembered:  I love being in the garden.  So I took it all in -- the birds singing in the tree above me, the loamy smell of the earth,  the lovely succulents, flowers, and ferns in mottled light.  Then, among the flora, I spotted the jonquil that have sprouted from the earth right on time to bloom for their given month and for my birthday. I actually chortled in delight, then ran back inside to my computer desk.

Zoroaster, b. March 26, 632 BCE
plantpov.com

Because, I love my birthday. (Perhaps I should have led with that?)  But I especially love that my birthday is in March on the day after Zoroaster's. (Maybe we can throw a party together one year!)  Having a birthday in March means sharing the celebration.  I've had Palm Sunday, Easter, Passover (because our family does both),  the NCAA final game, and, one year, the Academy Awards occur on my birthday. And I also share my birthday week with my two best friends from high school, my two female first cousins, and my stepdaughter's sister -- a little herd of she-Rams. There's also my birthday twins, Quentin Tarantino, Fergie, Buster Posey, Gloria Swanson and Sarah Vaughn, to name a few.

So this year, once again the pious and the unruly, priests and pretend leprechauns, 3-point shots and palm fronds, all clamor for their moment of March, surrounded by fresh green cloverleafs and brilliant yellow jonquils -- just like the joyous profusion of spring itself. And for at least one day in the month, someone will take a day off work, eat a nice meal, have good laugh, and enjoy themselves.

garden-flowers.org

Odes of March - Part 2

As the Irish see St. Patrick
timeanddate.com

Now that we've cover sacred holidays, lets look at the profane, which circles back to St. Patrick, patron saint of Ireland.  Now, in Ireland, St. Patrick's feast day is observed with "solemnity" and is "a day of obligation,"  according the Gospel of Wikipedia, which goes on to say, "... in the rest of the world it is a celebration of Ireland."  However, the American version of the celebration is much like the story of the St. Patrick driving snakes from the Emerald Isles: a bunch of malarkey.

First, according to the History Channel, we know very little about St. Patrick except that he was born in Britain. That's right. He's not even Irish.  Not only that, there are two possible Patricks, or Patrigs, referred to in the legends of St. Patrick and no one knows which one is the St. Patrick.  Fortunately, this matters little to St. Patrick's most devoted supplicants, the denizens of the packed-to-the-gills bars wearing blinking shamrocks, green top hats, and shirts that say, "Kiss Me, I'm Irish," while swilling green beer (or black and tans for the classy set).

As Americans see St. Patrick
smartassradio.com

Second, to simply look at the visual images associated with St. Patrick's Day, it would be assumed that he is one and the same as the Notre Dame mascot -- kind of an angry, squatty, leprechaun, ready to punch you out. Which is to say that St. Patrick's Day is an American celebration where everyone identifies themselves with an Irish stereotype, wears green clothing (or else gets pinched!), eats corned beef and cabbage, drinks until they become angry, squatty leprechauns, and, barring arrest, projectile vomiting, or kill-me-now hangovers, have a lot of fun.

Third, apparently there are not now nor never have been snakes in Ireland. Well, at least since the Ice Age, which is wa-ay earlier than St. Patrick. Pagans, however, take umbrage with St. Patrick, claiming their ancestors were the symbolic snakes. Since St. Patrick can be invoked to aid in situations regarding snakes, witchcraft, and, oh yeah, sin, I'm thinking there's some credence there -- as if St. Patrick's Day wasn't non-PC enough. Yet, still, so fun.

Another oft-time profane phenomenon in March is a tradition known as Spring Break. We don't even have time to begin to consider all the shenanigans that take place during that week when dedicated, hardworking students flock to the coastal cities (like mine) and go berserk. Also fun.

howlatthemoon.com

The other profane March occurrence will undoubtedly resonate less with most readers, although it is in many ways far more notorious and heinous than the debauchery of St. Patrick's celebrants: the ides of March.  March 15th is the day Roman Emperor/Dictator/Emperator Julius Caesar was slain by members of his personal counsel, close friends, and the Roman Senate at the foot of the statue of Pompey in 44 BCE. Shakespeare made much of it in his tragedy, Julius Caesar, from whence the expression comes, "Beware the ides of March..." I'm certain that many students of Shakespeare (see right) wish the play began and ended with Caesar's murder.

The Ides of March for Julius Caesar
onthisdeity.com

What's an ide, anyway? asks the title of an article in the Christian Science Monitor, echoing the burning question in my mind. The CSM says an ide is the time of the full moon according to the Roman  lunar calendar, which fell on the thirteenth of the month except in March, May, July, and October. (All great months!)  Though, apparently not so much for Emperor/Dictator/Emperator Julius Caesar, who had replaced the lunar calendar with his own  Julian calendar in 45 BCE. (But that wasn't why he was assassinated. It was the confusion over his title.)

Odes of March - Part 1

I love March.

Despite being named for the Roman god of war, March is a very poetic month.  Its beginning and end have descriptive similes: it "comes in" and "goes out" "like a lamb" or "a lion," depending on the weather.  March has "Madness," if you're a basketball lover (or in love with one). In the northern climes, March ushers in a time desperately yearned-for through many a long, dark night: the First Day of Spring.  Also, the end of the NCAA season.  All the stuff poetry is made of.

A nun praying on Palm Sunday articles.latimes.com Not only a poetic and athletic month, March also abounds with holidays. Its special cosmological position as the harbinger of spring has not gone unnoticed by several faiths.  Besides the obvious attraction to Pagans who celebrate the Spring Equinox (Eoster) every 20th, Catholics commemorate four Saints in March, including Joseph (husband of Mary), and Patrick -- but more on that later.  There is also Mothering Sunday on the fourth week of lent, and Annunciation Day on the 25th, marking Gabriel's announcement to Mary of her own mothering, exactly nine months from Christmas.

When the lunar calendar allows, one or more of the holy days preceding Easter, (when Protestants join in), and Easter, itself, may take place in March.  Again, depending on the lunar calendar, Jews sometimes celebrate Purim in early March or Passover in late March, which occurs on the night of the 26th this year. But that's not all, as the late Billy May (sharing the name of another great month) would say.

Holi Festival of 

The lunar calendar, apparently much preferred for ecclesiastic purposes, usually places the Hindu spring religious festival, Holi, around the beginning of March, which includes dousing family and friends with colors (wet and dry paint) among the observances and festivities. On the day following Holi, Sikhs celebrate Hola Mohalla, featuring games and mock battles.

Back to the real calendar, the Baha'i begin their new year, Naw Ruz, on the first day of spring (March 21).  Meanwhile, the Japanese Shinto call the Spring Equinox Shubun Sai and spend it visiting the graves of the departed and remembering ancestors. On a cheerier note, earlier in the month, the Japanese celebrate Hina Matsuri, the Festival of Dolls, in honor of their daughters. Aw-w-w... And lastly, the Zoroastrians celebrate March 26 in honor the birthday of Zoroaster, the founder, obviously, of Zoroastrianism.  March really should be hailed as the "Multi-faith Month."

Odes of March Revisited

Okay, okay, I get it.  I 've divided my first blog post into three parts. Those with short attention spans or tired eyes can read as they wish.  Since it wasn't originally written as a blog, much less a three-part blog, I count on you to create continuity between the post parts (?) and am leaving up the original full-length post.

Also, I fixed the settings to allow comments from anyone.  If you are not part of any of the identities it lists, and don't want to become one, you can comment as Anonymous or Name/URL. You don't have to have a URL it just puts  parentheses after your name, like so: (). 

Again, thanks for reading and providing feedback!  I hope you'll continue to follow the blog and my somewhat randomly chosen and loosely-based theme of "time." (Kind of a can of worms, research-wise, but lots of interesting topics!)  And if you should run across anything interesting, however obscure, feel free to chime in. Not sure how much the comments will allow, but I'll make sure it gets posted somehow.

Odes of March

I love March.

Despite being named for the Roman god of war, March is a very poetic month.  Its beginning and end have descriptive similes: it "comes in" and "goes out" "like a lamb" or "a lion," depending on the weather.  March has "Madness," if you're a basketball lover (or in love with one). In the northern climes, March ushers in a time desperately yearned-for through many a long, dark night: the First Day of Spring.  Also, the end of the NCAA season.  All the stuff poetry is made of.

 A nun praying on Palm Sunday
articles.latimes.com

Not only a poetic and athletic month, March also abounds with holidays. Its special cosmological position as the harbinger of spring has not gone unnoticed by several faiths.  Besides the obvious attraction to Pagans who celebrate the Spring Equinox (Eoster) every 20th, Catholics commemorate four Saints in March, including Joseph (husband of Mary), and Patrick -- but more on that later.  There is also Mothering Sunday on the fourth week of lent, and Annunciation Day on the 25th, marking Gabriel's announcement to Mary of her own mothering, exactly nine months from Christmas.

When the lunar calendar allows, one or more of the holy days preceding Easter, (when Protestants join in), and Easter, itself, may take place in March.  Again, depending on the lunar calendar, Jews sometimes celebrate Purim in early March or Passover in late March, which occurs on the night of the 26th this year. But that's not all, as the late Billy May (sharing the name of another great month) would say.

Holi Festival of Colors celebration
travelfoodanddrink.com

The lunar calendar, apparently much preferred for ecclesiastic purposes, usually places the Hindu spring religious festival, Holi, around the beginning of March, which includes dousing family and friends with colors (wet and dry paint) among the observances and festivities. On the day following Holi, Sikhs celebrate Hola Mohalla, featuring games and mock battles.

Back to the real calendar, the Baha'i begin their new year, Naw Ruz, on the first day of spring (March 21).  Meanwhile, the Japanese Shinto call the Spring Equinox Shubun Sai and spend it visiting the graves of the departed and remembering ancestors. On a cheerier note, earlier in the month, the Japanese celebrate Hina Matsuri, the Festival of Dolls, in honor of their daughters. Aw-w-w... And lastly, the Zoroastrians celebrate March 26 in honor the birthday of Zoroaster, the founder, obviously, of Zoroastrianism.  March really should be hailed as the "Multi-faith Month."

As the Irish see St. Patrick
timeanddate.com

Now that we've cover sacred holidays, lets look at the profane, which circles back to St. Patrick, patron saint of Ireland.  Now, in Ireland, St. Patrick's feast day is observed with "solemnity" and is "a day of obligation,"  according the Gospel of Wikipedia, which goes on to say, "... in the rest of the world it is a celebration of Ireland."  However, the American version of the celebration is much like the story of the St. Patrick driving snakes from the Emerald Isles: a bunch of malarkey.

First, according to the History Channel, we know very little about St. Patrick except that he was born in Britain. That's right. He's not even Irish.  Not only that, there are two possible Patricks, or Patrigs, referred to in the legends of St. Patrick and no one knows which one is the St. Patrick.  Fortunately, this matters little to St. Patrick's most devoted supplicants, the denizens of the packed-to-the-gills bars wearing blinking shamrocks, green top hats, and shirts that say, "Kiss Me, I'm Irish," while swilling green beer (or black and tans for the classy set).

As Americans see St. Patrick
smartassradio.com

Second, to simply look at the visual images associated with St. Patrick's Day, it would be assumed that he is one and the same as the Notre Dame mascot -- kind of an angry, squatty, leprechaun, ready to punch you out. Which is to say that St. Patrick's Day is an American celebration where everyone identifies themselves with an Irish stereotype, wears green clothing (or else gets pinched!), eats corned beef and cabbage, drinks until they become angry, squatty leprechauns, and, barring arrest, projectile vomiting, or kill-me-now hangovers, have a lot of fun.

Third, apparently there are not now nor never have been snakes in Ireland. Well, at least since the Ice Age, which is wa-ay earlier than St. Patrick. Pagans, however, take umbrage with St. Patrick, claiming their ancestors were the symbolic snakes. Since St. Patrick can be invoked to aid in situations regarding snakes, witchcraft, and, oh yeah, sin, I'm thinking there's some credence there -- as if St. Patrick's Day wasn't non-PC enough. Yet, still, so fun.

Another oft-time profane phenomenon in March is a tradition known as Spring Break. We don't even have time to begin to consider all the shenanigans that take place during that week when dedicated, hardworking students flock to the coastal cities (like mine) and go berserk. Also fun.

howlatthemoon.com

The other profane March occurrence will undoubtedly resonate less with most readers, although it is in many ways far more notorious and heinous than the debauchery of St. Patrick's celebrants: the ides of March.  March 15th is the day Roman Emperor/Dictator/Emperator Julius Caesar was slain by members of his personal counsel, close friends, and the Roman Senate at the foot of the statue of Pompey in 44 BCE. Shakespeare made much of it in his tragedy, Julius Caesar, from whence the expression comes, "Beware the ides of March..." I'm certain that many students of Shakespeare (see right) wish the play began and ended with Caesar's murder.

The Ides of March for Julius Caesar
onthisdeity.com

What's an ide, anyway? asks the title of an article in the Christian Science Monitor, echoing the burning question in my mind. The CSM says an ide is the time of the full moon according to the Roman  lunar calendar, which fell on the thirteenth of the month except in March, May, July, and October. (All great months!)  Though, apparently not so much for Emperor/Dictator/Emperator Julius Caesar, who had replaced the lunar calendar with his own  Julian calendar in 45 BCE. (But that wasn't why he was assassinated. It was the confusion over his title.)

No matter, the Julian calendar was replaced by the Gregorian calendar, as the good fathers found ways to accommodate the 365.25 days it takes for the Earth to orbit around the sun.  There are several other calendars, of course, and I'm certain the history of the modern calendar would be absolutely spell-binding, if one wished to pursue it.  But for me, on this hot and sunny So Cal morning, (for which March has not come in like a lamb or lion as much as a fire-breathing dragon), it was nature, not the calendar, that brought on this effusive exposition.

I don't know why I often forget to do the things I love. Severing myself from my desk and double screens where I toiled over a book, video editing, employment listings, social media, and all things cyber, I went outside to give my overheated garden some water.  In doing so, I bent to pull some weeds that have greatly multiplied in the alternately rainy and 82 degree weather, and suddenly remembered:  I love being in the garden.  So I took it all in -- the birds singing in the tree above me, the loamy smell of the earth,  the lovely succulents, flowers, and ferns in mottled light.  Then, among the flora, I spotted the jonquil that have sprouted from the earth right on time to bloom for their given month and for my birthday. I actually chortled in delight, then ran back inside to my computer desk.

Zoroaster, b. March 26, 632 BCE
plantpov.com

Because, I love my birthday. (Perhaps I should have led with that?)  But I especially love that my birthday is in March on the day after Zoroaster's. (Maybe we can throw a party together one year!)  Having a birthday in March means sharing the celebration.  I've had Palm Sunday, Easter, Passover (because our family does both),  the NCAA final game, and, one year, the Academy Awards occur on my birthday. And I also share my birthday week with my two best friends from high school, my two female first cousins, and my stepdaughter's sister -- a little herd of she-Rams. There's also my birthday twins, Quentin Tarantino, Fergie, Buster Posey, Gloria Swanson and Sarah Vaughn, to name a few.

So this year, once again the pious and the unruly, priests and pretend leprechauns, 3-point shots and palm fronds, all clamor for their moment of March, surrounded by fresh green cloverleafs and brilliant yellow jonquils -- just like the joyous profusion of spring itself. And for at least one day in the month, someone will take a day off work, eat a nice meal, have good laugh, and enjoy themselves.

garden-flowers.org

I love March.